:: and this i know ::

It is horrible to admit, but there are certain things that I now expect when I go to the gym:

• People incorrectly using the equipment.
• Individuals who decide that it is best to work out in jeans, and not clothes that I would consider to be more comfortable.
• The man with the comb over who wears inappropriately small shorts (we’re talking 70s basketball short length).
• The surly female groaning loudly when people approach who smell (that would be me; see below about the smell).
• People who think it is best to use equipment such as the treadmill or elliptical while wearing flip-flops.

Occasionally I am surprised by others there, such as the couple that used the same hours I am there to practice for a dancing competition. I enjoyed watching them improve, work toward their goal and see how well their routine matched whatever it was I was listening to at the time. Amanda Palmer worked great for their routine; Queens of the Stone Age not so much. They stopped coming a few months ago, or at least using the empty workout room that I use certain days. I do hope that they scored well as they truly did improve.

In any event, this is not about them, but about the person I recently encountered. While I am used to people using headphones, and occasionally can hear people slip and sing along to the music being played, this man was different. For I have never heard anyone belting out songs from a musical. No, not somewhat quietly, but as in singing as loud as he could. People on equipment a row over who were using headphones were turning around to glare at him. Others were moving to other machines in an attempt to find a quiet spot (impossible – boy could sing). I just stayed somewhat close due to the fact that the good machine (i.e., the one with a vent angled to hit it) was nearby. More importantly, he was not the most annoying person I have been near at the gym.

I am unsure of what musical he was rehearsing as it was not a song from Rocky Horror or Hedwig (I know both soundtracks quite well). I do know that a woman who attends the gym had no problem working out right next to him and was very excited about his song selection. How did I know this? Well, I only know that he was rehearsing due to her asking him why he was singing. I also know that she was excited because of the fact that she joined in to help. Yes, even though she did not have the music, she knew the song well enough to sing-along loudly with him – something that he appreciated as he then began to sing even louder. Yes, encouragement was all that he needed.

For the record:

The most annoying people: no, not the ones who basically stand / sit on the machines in order to chat with their friends and do not really work out while at these machines. The annoying people are those that I can hear perfectly well even with the noise cancelling headphones and the music turned up high. Yes, I get those lovely people who basically yell at each other, even if they are standing in a close circle.

Also, the smelly guy mentioned above: One expects a certain smell due to people working out. However this one man who decided to use the machine next to me one time actually caused me to gag. I had only 15 minutes left of an hour work out, which is why I thought I could handle the stench. I ended up having to breathe into my sweaty towel for air. The person who approached to use the machine on his other side took one whiff, gave a dirty look and left. I swear. Where is the Febreze when you need it?

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At least in the traditional sense.

In honor of today’s celebration of one Miss M.’s 16th birthday I decided to spend this date looking back at my own. Did I have a massive party? Nope. To the dismay of my parents, I have never been one for a big celebration of my birthday – in fact, I do not even bother with a moderately sized celebration. Did I have a fancy dinner with friends? Uh-uh. I think we may have had pizza. Did I spend the day in a fancy or fun place? Please. It was spent in a parking lot.

Yes, I spent my Sweet Sixteen with three friends of mine, one of whom I am still excited to be friends with (thanks FB for reuniting us), waiting in line at the famous Tower Records on Sunset to meet Boy George. Only one of us was driving at that point, so she had the responsibility of getting us to the store, while the group of us had the joy of keeping ourselves entertained while in line. Ask anyone who has dealt with a straightforward signing: keeping yourself entertained is one of the most difficult things to do while waiting.

Somehow we succeeded. We not only managed to keep ourselves entertained, but we managed not to kill each other while waiting. Again, ask anyone who has waited in a long line with friends – the urge to cause harm to someone nearby, even if they are a friend, grows with each hour.

After all these years I still remember the pushing that began when the staff announced that the line would be cut soon. We were still outside of the building, waiting to gain entrance into the maze created in the aisles. Ultimately though, we were successful in meeting Boy George, a moment I captured in a picture that I ended up submitting for extra credit for my photo class I was taking that year.

Side note: my teacher made me put this photo, along with ones of Debbie Harry performing and of former Guns n Roses drummer Steven Adler in the school art show. Someone stole my Steven Adler photo. The nerve.

It is amazing. After all of these years (specific numbers not needed), I cannot remember much about the meeting itself, but I do remember the laughter while we waited. Not the specific conversations, which I am positive we thought were beyond important, but that we were able to have a great time together. This even with needing to shift our feet as we attempted to find some comfort.

When I look back at various events in my life I am finding that it is the experience of waiting with friends that I am most fond of – not the event itself, but those random moments that are more and more difficult to come across as we all get older and busier. I do hope Ms. M had some moments tonight that she will treasure the way I have of my 16th – moments of friends, moments of laughter. What gifts are received are never as valuable as these moments.

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From my adolescent years through well . . . we’ll just say through 7 years ago, I had quite a collection of seal and dolphin figurines (and one candle). It was a magnificent collection, various types, random sizes, all very adorable and to be envied by anyone who collected either seals or dolphins. The larger pieces were kept in a cabinet in my small “whatever” room which could have been a small sitting room, but quickly became my depository for various items I could not find space for in my bedroom, while the smaller pieces were held in boxes in the same room. Why would I store such a collection behind doors and lids instead of showing them off? Simple. I did not care to collect these things.

In my single digit years I made the mistake once of mentioning to an Aunt that I thought a seal figure was cute. From that point on, she latched onto this statement and began my collection. I can understand wanting to purchase that one seal as a sign that she was paying attention, but she took it to a whole other level.

True, I could have been obnoxious, and told her hey, I only liked that one seal, but I did not for one reason: the joy that she seemed to have when presenting me with a new item. I loved my Aunt Carol, and thus began the secret shame of being excited in front of her, and then hiding the gifts.

When she started to feel ill after having her second child the sea creatures stopped coming as often. The ultimate diagnosis of MS meant that they basically stopped coming completely as she found herself unable to get around as she used to be able.

The last gift she did manage to get me was actually not a seal, nor a dolphin. It was a light from one of the Main Street Electrical Parade floats from Disneyland. I used to go once a year with my Uncle and Aunt, and later with my cousins. Eventually my Aunt would stay home, while the four of us ran around the park. The last time my Uncle decided that he would stay with my Aunt and just gave me his ticket for one of my friends to use.

Actually, I vaguely remember telling my Aunt my version of the tale of the Haunted House while she rode in a doom buggy with me during a trip pre-kids/cousins. I cannot help but think of her when I ride it to this day, how she was so great that she let me tell my obviously false story, and listened as though everything I said was the truth.

My Aunt ultimately ended up passing away from MS in 2003. I was out of town for the job I had at the time, and had no idea what had happened until I returned. I now understand why no one wanted to tell me, as I would not have been able to work while I was away. I still remember rushing to her evening services after work, but just not being able to mentally go to her actual burial. I hope she is able to understand.

For the record? I would give anything to have any of those seal or dolphin items (even the earrings) back. Damn fire.

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There are certain things I would love to use this blog to express, but cannot for one reason or another. Some reasons are due to the fact that I will hurt people’s feelings. Some are due to not wanting to start a fight worthy of those in high school. Others? Just because I do not want to deal with the headaches that might be caused if this blog is found.

In (random) summary:

1. You are wrong.  You have no one to blame but yourself for this mess you find yourself in.
2. I wish you would just listen to the reasons that are given, just seriously sit and listen.  If you did, you would understand why I have this opinion that you feel is wrong.
3. I still have not forgotten the idiotic reasonings behind your actions.  How can the photos I have not be considered proof of ownership when coupled with official reports?
4. I have noticed that I have not heard from you since I declared neutrality.  I should apologize for being the adult here, but I doubt that would help.
5. I will avoid it as much as possible, especially since you are going about it by doing one of the things I hate the most in life.
6. No, I do not ask unless I have to.  No, I do not want to hear about it unless I have to.  Yes, I do change the subject when it comes up because I do not want to say something that will be regretted.

I must say: just typing this did feel better.

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In this instance the letter would be “S,” not “A.”

I have no problem admitting to the fact that I had a few backdated posts due to starting the NaBloPoMo challenge a few days late. However, I am struggling with the fact that I have indeed used the schedule function for some posts.

Whether I like it or not, the best time for me to post is in the evening, even on the weekends. I am unsure if it is because this has become a method for me to unwind after the work day, or after a day spent running around trying to mark errands off my “to-do” list, but the evening works best. I find that by the time I do get around to sitting down to write I have settled down enough to be able to concentrate without worrying about the bills I need to pay that evening – mainly because I make various calls, write the emails, etc. before sitting down at the keyboard.

Unfortunately this means that there have been a few cases where I have scheduled entries to post while I knew that I would be away from the computer. While there are some cases where I could technically make the midnight deadline, I worry that it would be rushed, a half-assed entry done just to technically say that I have participated so that I could finish something else that is at the back of my brain.

Is it wrong to schedule something in advance? I am sure that others with real blogs that have audiences and tackle important subjects use the feature. I am also sure that others would attempt to note when they are using the feature, much like I have noted when I made a backdated entry. Would I feel less guilt if I did this, if I marked each as being a scheduled entry?

More importantly, why do I feel the guilt? I am actually writing these entries myself, not relying on others to help. I am just possibly writing two on one day so that I can see my cousin’s kids play football without having to worry about rushing home to make a post. Yet I still feel the guilt, as if I am defeating the purpose of deciding to participate in NaBloPoMo because I am not writing on one of the days. There must be something wrong with me to feel bad about this, correct?

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True, it was more along the lines of 72 hours of dealing with the 500 Internal Error message that I received when attempting to set up this blog to participate in NaBloPoMo, but at times it felt as though it were 500 hours. You see, although I did consult the opinion of one of my friends, I still was nervous about committing myself to writing every day for the month of November. There are so many other things to distract me, especially as it is difficult to find enough time in the week for work, errands, reading and watching my NetFlix movies. However my desire to write, or rather to begin to write again, was too strong. It was this desire that made me ask my friend as I do sincerely value her opinion, and thus her words encouraging me to take on the challenge meant the world to me.

To be frank, I have had this URL (as well as a few others) for some time. Have I done anything with the URLs I own? Let’s just say that I actually opted not to renew a few of them this year as it seemed ridiculous to keep paying for something that deep down I knew I would not use. I kept this one, as well as another that I have not used as of now, due to wanting to believe that I would eventually do a blog.

After signing up on the NaBloPoMo site, I found myself attempting to write my initial entry. I also made the decision that I should make up the few days that I had missed due to only finding out about this challenge on the 3rd, when I read Melissa Kay Allen’s post about her participation. In the middle of my attempts what happens? The dreaded 500 Internal Error message on my server – a message that not only appeared on this site, but also on the WordPress admin page. I had no idea how I would access anything, or if anything had saved. It took a support request to my server to make me realize that I could still write something, but that I could just save my blathers as a document, for posting once everything was up and running. Unfortunately, the support system in place was taking much too long, which lead to a lovely [read as infuriating (for both of us) live chat] that lead me down the correct path that ultimately lead to this site now being accessible for me to write on, as well as for anyone to stumble across.

One important thing that I learned during this ordeal: I really do want to participate in this challenge. I could have easily made a million excuses as to why I could not write due to server issues. I could have decided to just play online (I have recently made the unfortunate discovery of slot machine games) instead of writing quick entries in Word. Instead I was determined to not only fix the issue, but to also attempt to write while dealing with my 500 Internal Error.

The only unfortunate side to this: I really am unsure of what I will write about. This site will be, for better or worse, as random as the thoughts that appear in my head while driving in traffic.

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Due to being smart enough to subscribe to the blog posts of one Melissa Kay Allen, I have just discovered the existence of NaBloPoMo.

I had participated in NaNoWriMo once before (twice if you count the year I decided to spend a day staring at the screen and then gave up). I did spend part of last year contemplating whether or not I had a story in me that I wanted to tell so that I could participate again this year. It turns out that I do not. Perhaps next year, but this year I am a clean slate.

The idea of NaBloPoMo appeals to me for many reasons:
1. I feel as though I have enough blather in me to be able to post each day in November.
2. This actually is something I had considered doing in the past – forcing myself to write each month in an attempt to confront the blank page.
3. I can use photos! YES! Photos! Who hoo! Some may consider this cheating, but I consider it a way out if I am drained after work, but am at least able to post an image for all* to appreciate.

Today is the 4th. If I do this, I will attempt to back-post entries for the first three days of the month. I will note when the back-posting is done, just for the sake of honesty.

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