I am a compulsive list maker – whether in my head, on my phone or in my trusty notebook lists exist. Everything from shopping lists, to birthdays that for some reason I feel as though I must remember to films that I would like to add to my NetFlix queue when they are available on the service. Lists surround my life. There are days that I wish that it was not always this way, however after yesterday I understand that they exist as a method to provide me peace.
There could be any number of reasons why, but I had completely slacked off on the normal things that I need to do in the month of October. Everything from keeping track of the mileage driven for work, to writing letters to companies to congratulate them on service well done* was ignored. True, I did manage to keep various appointments – birthday parties, the dentist – but for the most part I avoided anything that I normally takes time out of my life.
Was there one reason why I decided to do this? No. However I can state that the past month felt like a whirlwind, everything feeling last minute, up in the air. I was out doing things (groceries were still purchased after all), but at the end of the night I just did not feel accomplished for some reason.
Yesterday I found myself wanting to kill some time before a football game (yes, I know). I finally decided to tackle the things scattered around: the small piles of mail, the various receipts, the post-its with random notes, the papers on the side of my CD cabinet . . . all taken care of in the course of an afternoon. I must say that I honestly feel better knowing that I have taken care of these things, in fact I found that I did not have that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was forgetting something when I went out last night. It was the first time I felt that way in quite some time.
Today was spent finishing up – putting away the scarves, and refolding the ones that needed the attention, putting jackets back on their hangers instead of in a small heap, taking down the old notices that I needed to attend to and placing them where they belonged.
Now? Now I feel as though I am centered again. Calm, even. I feel as though I do not have any nagging feelings (other than what I will have for dinner when celebrating my parents anniversary this evening – food is very important to me) visiting me, and wonder if this means that I will get that good night’s sleep that I deserve. I guess that some can and are able to function with various clutter, but one thing I can say is that after a month of living this way, I am finding a peace that I had been missing now that I have what I can, under control.
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*Yes, I do write letters to companies when I am assisted by their technicians, customer service reps, or representatives if they do an outstanding job that goes outside of their descriptions. I do not feel that enough people acknowledge good service, but that too many are willing to criticize at a moment’s notice. For this reason, I do like to let people know when their staff or company is doing an outstanding job.
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